Babe Paley Traveling in China, 1973; Photograph by William S. Paley
What Ike Udé means by good manners has less to do with slavish devotion to esoteric rules and everything to do with thoughtfulness. Emily Post would have agreed. The early 20th Century arbiter of etiquette hewed to the four S’s: sincerity, simplicity, sympathy, and serenity. Such behavior cannot be selectively applied. For Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, that meant if she observed someone being rude to the waiter, that person better be rude to her too.
Babe Paley, like Onassis, was one of the most admired women of the 20th Century. She was a master of Emily Post's four S’s. Consider her 1973 journey to China with her husband, Bill. This was an era when almost no Americans traveled to that country. There would be no modern conveniences. She must have wanted to be prepared for anything. Yet, upon being told that the luggage carriers there were older, possibly frail women, she brought only one suitcase that she could carry herself. That might explain the simple black ensemble in the above photo. But (as that photo makes obvious), even limited to one bag, Babe remained the epitome of chic.
Babe Paley, like Onassis, was one of the most admired women of the 20th Century. She was a master of Emily Post's four S’s. Consider her 1973 journey to China with her husband, Bill. This was an era when almost no Americans traveled to that country. There would be no modern conveniences. She must have wanted to be prepared for anything. Yet, upon being told that the luggage carriers there were older, possibly frail women, she brought only one suitcase that she could carry herself. That might explain the simple black ensemble in the above photo. But (as that photo makes obvious), even limited to one bag, Babe remained the epitome of chic.
 Emily Post's "Etiquette" |  Babe Paley's Luggage (Pre-China) |
As Annette Tapert notes in The Power of Style, Babe Paley was a trendsetter. "[W]hen Babe, who was then in her fifties, decided to let her gray hair show, masses of women followed suit. When she wore a pantsuit to lunch at Quo Vadis, it became acceptable.” Sometimes, it was accidental. She once wrapped her scarf around her handbag because she was too warm. Regardless of temperature, that too became a fashion trend. Yet, what so many of these proudly gray, pantsuit-wearing, scarf-on-handbag Babe Paley admirers failed to realize was that the only means by which they could truly resemble their idol was in their behavior—by treating people of stations with respect and kindness.
Image Credit (Second Photo): The Original Bill Paley
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